Natural hair is getting so much attention these days. It is certainly positive since it will encourage more women to think about what they do to their hair and that of their children. Whether this is a wave of awareness or an actual awakening, I do not know. However, I welcome it (whether it produces more naturals or not) and would love to take the time to share some important information about what I believe to be the emotions of natural hair based on my experience and observations.
The initial emotions that accompany going natural are fear and excitement. I consider these two emotions to be two sides to the same coin when it comes to the decision to go natural. The emotion of fear is fueled by a desire to be accepted and the challenge of what could happen. For many women, natural hair is unchartered territory and the unknown answers to the “what if” questions render the decision to go natural simply unbearable.
Possible “What ifs” that I have heard, or have asked myself early on.
- My hair has never been short. What if does not look good?
- I work in corporate America. What if my boss does not like it?
- I want to start a career. Can I go to a job interview with my short natural hair?
- What if my boyfriend/husband does not like it?
- What if I don’t have curly hair?
The list goes on and on!
These questions will by all means keep you on the fence and if you are observant, you’ll notice yourself moving further from the decision to transition. Your own mental blocks will prevent you from exploring the “What ifs” that do matter, such as:
- What if it looks as good as I think it will?
- What if I can style it with no problem?
- What if I gain more confidence in myself with this decision?
- What if I come to learn that my family and friends are willing to support my decision, even if they don’t agree with it?
- What if I do have hair that isn’t curly?
- What if I do fall in love with it?
I am not urging transitioners to look at the glass as half full. Rather, I am letting you know that there needs to be an imbalance and the scale has to be tilted toward excitement and passion about what is to come.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, this is so true. That’s exactly what the majority of women go through when contemplating going natural. And there are more emotions after you actually Big Chop. That’s when you really have to learn to love yourself no matter what everyone’s opinions are. That’s when you really learn that what you think about yourself will be reflected to others.
I agree 100%. I must admit it took me several months to get on board with leaving my relaxers behind. 6 months in, I couldn’t imagine goin back. My issues were work and my husband. After lots of deep thought I simply decided that I couldn’t allow the work place trends or my husband to deter me from doing what was right for me.
Needless to say, my co-workers (at least the ones that count) are supportive and although my husband is still on the fence (and forbids bc’ing) he is no longer feeding me constant negativity. I’ve even got a couple of compliments from him. This is truly an amazing journey. I am learning so much about myself and my hair and look forward to the many lessons ahead.
Kchey09, I have the same exact experiences with my husband. I know how you feel. I’ve only been fully natural for 2 and half months.
The transition is definitely mostly mental. Once I got over the mental part, it was all downhill from there.
I was so brainwashed into thinking that my hair had to be a certain way and people expected me to have “good hair” (I HATE THAT TERM!) because I’m multiracial, but my hair isn’t super loosely curled like people expected it to be. I don’t care though, I love my texture. It’s kind of in the middle so I can wear curly styles and big frizzy afro styles which are my absolute favorite.
You just have to give yourself time to fall in love with your hair all over again.